My
Mess?
For decades, I battled feelings of shame, insignificance & depression. I have a family pedigree riddled with addiction & mental illness. As a 20-something new mom, I said goodbye to my firstborn—a girl—when she was 4 days old, which launched me into a major depressive episode that could have ended my life. I later earned a psych degree and became a counselor at a behavioral facility, a psychiatric hospital, and an addiction recovery center. I would also visit siblings who were patients in these places; places that it became abundantly clear to me didn’t hold the big healing picture.
As a 30-something mom to young Noah, Savannah and Sawyer, I had a deep desire to bring out my beauty and voice, so embarked on a childhood dream to do pageants. This, after hitting an all-time frumpy rock-bottom and making a guest appearance on none other than Oprah. Seeing myself on live, national television—not exactly looking and feeling my best—compelled me to seek out coaches and mentors as I plunged headlong into an intense season of research & self-refinement. In 2004, with the platform of inspiring self-worth in women, I was crowned Mrs. Utah.
Ironically, my sister Shawna—a thirty-two-year-old mother of five—was losing her own battle with self-worth. She committed suicide the year I passed on my title.
IT Changed everything.
As a 40-something mom, I did a lot of writing, speaking & coaching for women. The prospect of generational mental illness manifesting in my kids led to a “mama bear” uprising, wherein I roared and slashed my way out of traditional, clinical treatment models—ones that hadn’t fully healed any of my clients or loved ones. I dove into integrative methods and natural tools for cleansing, biochemical support & sensory integration. At my 14 year-old son Noah's suggestion, I started teaching other mothers. God blessed and steered me on an amazing path of facilitating leadership development & natural health solutions that has expanded my Blue Rose Wellness organization, globally, to many thousands strong.
Feminine creation
And now, as I approach 50-something mommying, I’ve got two young adults, a teenager, and these two love bugs who've exploded on the scene. I had 4 miscarriages in a row trying to bring Eli & Emma here, yet the Universe/Hand of God delivered them via private adoptions. They came through separate “announcing dreams” and their miraculous stories have been featured in two books and a documentary. Eli’s amazing “tummy mommy,” Jessica, is a former coaching client of mine and lived with us for most of her pregnancy. We adopted Eli at birth, but Em was our foster baby whose precarious adoption finalized when she was just under a year.
The 7 year-long journey to bring them home taught me more about the process of Feminine Creation than anything I could have read about.
Let's Help You
shine
Immerse yourself in
healing and empowerment
healing was never meant
to be complicated
FEEL, EXPRESS, AND BE
WHO you TRULY ARE
A Dream is something you want to do.
a calling is something you have to do.
—John Maxwell—
Let your vioce be heard.
We are living in a great transformative time; an evolutionary period in human history. The Rising of the Feminine. We will go beyond what our foremothers dreamed of. Your voice, your influence and your Light is desperately needed in this hurting & hungry world. Don’t wait until you’re a certain size; until your kids are sit me to use your voice & share your truth is now!