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The Untamed Heart of My Daughter

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This picture displays beautifully why I should trust in the wild, sweet and unknown future of my 14 year-old daughter.  Why I should place my confidence in such a beautiful “free spirit”…

She who seems unable to be tamed.  She who won’t pick up her things, stays up too late, sometimes back-talks, loves everything loud, would rather socialize than study, and appears overly preoccupied with pop culture and image.

Last week, Savannah took a couple close friends to a church youth service activity at a facility that provides emergency shelter for families in transition.  She’d complained about having to go, dragging her feet and friends with her out the door at her parents’ insistence.  I probably wouldn’t have known what an impact it’d had on her unless her friends hadn’t burst through the door to tell me all about it when they returned.  Savannah hung back as they exclaimed in rushed overtures:

“Oh my gosh, it was soooooo sad!  When we first got there we couldn’t believe it and we just went in the corner and we cried and cried and we couldn’t stop crying and there were all these beds and they were all right next to each other and there was this guy who was like reaaaally mean to his kids and there was this other guy who was totally on drugs and he was soooo scary and weird and these kids were soooo lonely and we played with them and they kept wanting us to hold them and we carried them everywhere and they loved our hair and one of them reaalllly loved Savannah and she didn’t want her to leave and….”

I got the picture.

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Savannah and her friends told me they want to talk to the principal of their junior high to see about creating a clothing drive for the children there.

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Yes, her complaining and her music and her friends and her cell phone are loud.  But so is her laughter, and so is her love.  The compassion in my daughter’s heart, given the right set of circumstances, cannot help but find expression.

It’s well…  Unable to be tamed.

Right around the time Savannah went to the homeless shelter, I had a coaching session with a wise and astute woman who is having issues with her oldest daughter.  We discussed how usually other people trigger anger in us when they mirror what we are impatient with ourselves for.  As mothers, who is closer to us than our daughters?  Who better to reflect back how patient we need to be with ourselves?

(Gulp) I, too, have problems with picking up my things, staying up too late, sometimes back-talking …

This last week, it’s hit me that I need to look less on my daughter’s actions and more on the beauty of her heart.  After all, that is what the Ultimate Parent does for each of us Untamed Ones.

“…For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

Who is the Hardest Person for You to Love?

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Each of us has someone in our life that triggers everything weak within us…makes us want to shake some good solid sense into them…fight them down.  Yet, that person is usually placed on our path as our greatest Teacher.  They point us to the grand earthly struggle towards Charity.

The following is a letter that I wrote someone close to me – a female- about someone else close to me -a male- a few years ago.  Everyone in his circle was beyond what you would call frustrated, which opened the door for honest dialogue and a reflection into our personal abilities to love unconditionally.

Names have been changed.

Dear Taryn,

After you and I talked about Justin the other day, I was left with unclear feelings.  I was wanting to be mad and issue forth justice (have him see the errors of his ways, once and for all) but wondered if it’s best to come from a place of mercy?  At the risk of sounding overly self-righteous and trite, I pondered what Christ would do in the case of our brother Justin.  After all, Justin is Christ’s brother too, and that thought hit me pretty powerfully (especially after I talked this over with my husband Jeff, whom as of late seems to have been hit with the “wisdom of Solomon” stick).

Anyway, I think we all agree Justin is a lost soul.  His actions are frustrating, triggering most of us to anger.  His heart is hardened and he is disillusioned with life and relationships, but I do not believe he is past feeling.  He is still a little lost boy who is looking for love – manipulation style – as this is the only survival method HE believes can work for him.

Mercy is not about being a doormat, tolerating abuse or condoning another’s actions.  It’s just about love.  That person’s level of darkness and disillusionment will be a stark contrast to what you issue forth as you “vibrate” to this charitable way of being towards them.  This is what awakens them to want to live at a higher level or see things differently, not hissing forth ultimatums or lecturing.  THEY know when they are acting out of integrity.  THEY still have the Light of Christ and know that they are hurting themselves and others.  Unless they ask us to point things out for them and seek our counsel, it is not our right to place our will upon theirs.  Enlightenment is a very personal process and when contention is stirred, this gift cannot be called forth within those who are vulnerable and lost.  Love and light are the only healers, the only true messengers of the “mighty change of heart.”

“With what measure he judge, ye shall be judged.” (Matt 7:2)

Coming from me this must sound like the most hypocritical advice ever issued on the planet!!!  I have normally been the one to alert everyone to the error of their ways and offer the most “brilliant” of solutions (which oftentimes ended up being the most ignorant of solutions).  Especially with Shawna while she was still with us.   Lately though, I have been feeling that the real solution to every problem is simply to LOVE.  It’s the entire reason we’ve incarnated into this fallen world in the first place.  To learn to love!  The Lord (and Shawna too, most assuredly) have all but shouted this at me at various junctures and I keep looking for other solutions to fix people and situations.  But when it comes to Justin and a little handful of others who consistently push my buttons, I realize I am being offered teaching moments in this great lesson of loving unconditionally.

Are we to release Justin if he lacks the ability to “perform” to our level of expectations in relationship reciprocity?  I think that is a little harsh.  Perhaps the higher path is loving him IN our resentment…and releasing the resentment itself?  He clearly loves us and wants a relationship with us, just doesn’t know how to achieve it.  If we are always on the “defensive” with him, reading the very worst into his every behavior, how will he have the freedom to discover a relationship with us?  And more importantly, with God?

Granted: the crap Justin is pulling, and has pulled time and again over the years, is at a different and RELENTLESS level.  But does that really matter?  We are told to forgive those who trespass against us “70 times 7.”  Unless we have stewardship with or for another human, we are not to judge or issue forth justice.  And even with the stewardship, it is disciplining “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost…and afterwards showing an INCREASE OF LOVE.”  Our job is simply to love (simply…ha!…as IF it were easy!).

My dear Taryn, as you and I explored on the phone, Justin may never “get it” in this life.  Sometimes the measure of one’s creation is to test others around them (like Jeff’s brother w/ Down Syndrome).  Justin doesn’t yet know how to love, but we do, or we can.  I wholeheartedly believe that those who are the hardest for us to love are the ones carefully placed smack-dab on our paths.  It is NO accident Justin was placed before us here on Earth.  Because he is not at the level of accountability we are (has had light and truth taken from him through his disobedience), how can we expect him to demonstrate healthy love for us before he can have a place in our lives?  I am coming to believe that our interaction with this son of God is not necessarily his test (to “get” it) as much as it is OURS.

He is not one of the “90 and 9” but is one of the lost sheep in Christ’s parable.  Such include those who are the energy sucks, the takers, the manipulators…most of the time just behavioral fronts for being hurt and lost.  Those are the ones Christ sought out while He walked the Earth.  Everyone is worthy of our love.

I hope that this message doesn’t seem like lecturing or holier-than-thou or anything like that.  It’s just a little “call” I’ve been feeling for awhile. I have many regrets for the way I have treated people, talked behind their backs, and judged.  This is something I know I really need to work on, and so more than for you, this message I just wrote is for me.

I love you,
Cherie

Give Your Self the Perfect Gift This Christmas

I am convinced that the #1 Truth women resist accepting and comprehending is that of their personal worth.

God our Father – because He’s our Father – wants us to walk this Earth with a knowledge of our Divinity.  He wants us to “get” ourselves…with humility…with an open heart…and with an expansive mind.  Each of us, without exception, have a Divine Nature.  We are created from the holiest, most ancient substance in the Cosmos; everlasting to everlasting.

Why do we resist really internalizing this?

Probably because of our inherent mortal weaknesses, our pathetic physical forms, and our constantly changing and unpredictable environment.  Oh, and the fact that imperfect people all around us are constantly countering every Truth we seek to uncover.  About our glorious DNA.

But does an earthly person need to acknowledge our worth to make it real?

If we dig deep enough, we come to realize that a major part of our Savior’s mission was to teach us of the “God within.”  The Divine substance we were created from, and the magnificent potential we carry because of it, were an integral part of what He shared during His ministry.  If He could only get us to see ourselves through His – and Father’s –  eyes, we would never doubt our worth.

Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and [that] the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? (1 Cor. 3:16)

Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?  (John 10:34)

Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. (Luke 17:21)

If you haven’t already downloaded my free ebook, Love Thyself, please take it as my gift to you this Christmas.

More importantly, accept it as a gift to your Self….’cause She’s been wanting it all year 🙂

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I Couldn’t Save Her

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Today she would be 40.  I was going to visit her grave – about 15 minutes from my house – and got too busy.  Or maybe I’m just avoiding.  I don’t know…

I do know that five and a half years after my sister’s suicide, I’m still feeling the stinging pain of her loss.  I’ve already been through the anger phase in the grief cycle.  It’s run its course to the extent that about all I can feel angry about anymore is the fact that she’ll never get wrinkles.  So unfair…

I remember spending some time with a mutual friend of ours – a friend Shawna and I spent a lot of time with in our college years – about a year after Shawna’s passing.  We reminisced about times with Shawna… laughed til we cried and cried til we laughed.  My sister knew how to have fun, and she lit up every room she walked into.  Authentic Shawna was about as sweet and hilarious and amazing as they come.  I admitted to my friend that I deeply regretted putting so much energy into trying to “fix” Shawna and not enough energy into just embracing her.  Right after I dropped off our friend, a certain song came on the radio.

I don’t know how it works on the other side with loved ones reading your feelings, but I swear, Shawna knew my heart perfectly that night – beyond what I’d shared with our friend.  And I don’t know how it works on the other side with tweaking radio stations and prompting dj’s to play certain things at JUST the right time, but…this was most definitely divine timing:

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face You told me how proud you were but I walked away If only I knew what I know today I would hold you in my arms I would take the pain away Thank you for all you’ve done Forgive all your mistakes There’s nothing I wouldn’t do To hear your voice again Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you Some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit Sometimes I just want to hide ’cause it’s you I miss You know it’s so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do To have just one more chance To look into your eyes and see you looking back I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do And I’ve hurt myself If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that I’ve missed you since you’ve been away Oh, it’s dangerous It’s so out of line to try to turn back timeI’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do And I’ve hurt myself By hurting you

-Hurt, Christina Aguilera

That song launched a sea-storm of emotions in my heart that I’d bottled up since hearing she’d taken her life in that lonely hotel room one year previous.  This has never happened before or since, but I began to hyperventilate.  I let the emotions out and labeled them as they unleashed…. “I ccccouldn’t ssssaaaaaaave you!”  “I am ssssoooooo ssssssorrrry!!!”   “Whyyyyy didn’t I see?”  …and on and on.  I felt her there, sharing in the sadness and remorse.  And love.

Thank heavens there is One who could – and did – and HAS…saved her.  I know this with everything that I am.  She is okay.  More than okay.  She’s Authentic Shawna again.

This knowledge doesn’t take away the human moments that I crave her presence.    Yet – I feel incredibly blessed that her death taught me the most important lesson of my life.  And that is…that being a source of Love and Acceptance is our only job.  It’s why we’re here, and it’s the only way to see anyone through anything.

So Happy Birthday, my beloved sis.  And thank you.

Every Woman’s Pain

Ok, so it’s been over a MONTH since I’ve posted.  So sorry…have detached from writing to heed other calls.  Pleasantly surprised to note that there were almost 500 reads on my last post, “Those Who Hunger.” 🙂  Please keep reading, friends!

Yesterday – Saturday – was one of the most powerful and rewarding days of my “life mission” work ever…   I have been in Arizona all weekend, teaching at my friend Sarah’s home in Gilbert.  I conducted an essential oils and “self nurturing/empowerment for women” workshop on Fri night and offered coaching sessions to anyone who was interested that next day, since I knew I had it open before the workshop would resume that evening.  Little did I know what Saturday (yesterday) would yield.

From 7:30 am to 6:30 pm, I planted myself on a couch, stuck a Kleenex box on the coffee table, and had a series of one hour coaching sessions with about 10 different women.  Here is a sampling of the struggles that these brave and amazing females shared with me (BTW, we fully utilized the Kleenex):

  • “Emma’s” twin baby boys died shortly after birth.  She had a 2 year-old boy at the time, and has since had another baby boy.  She’s trying to be an emotionally brave and engaging mother to the two boys still living, afraid to let the grief surface for the two she has lost.
  • “Kelly” – about 35 years old – struggles with panic and anxiety, wanting to give everything and all that is in her to her children.  Fear of not being enough, of messing them up.  Her 4 year-old daughter is so stricken with anxiety that she will use the bathroom up to 100 times per day.  Another young daughter also suffering with crippling anxiety.
  • “Jane’s” son, who is in his 30’s and lives in her home, writhes in mental/emotional torment, has drug dependency issues and cannot hold a job.  Her heart breaks for his choices, his emotional “hell”…feels responsible for his issues, feels her “inadequate” mothering in his younger years must have created his current reality.
  • “Suzy” – a 30 year-old mother of 3 young children, diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, chronic pain, persistent self-defeating thoughts.
  • “Carly”, in recovery for prescription drug dependence…3 children, about the ages of mine.  At one of her low points, consumed a gallon of vodka a day, while simultaneously serving in a high Church position.  Beautiful, vibrant lady…recently relapsed, still plugging along with 4+ recovery meetings a week.  Is resolved to endure to the end and see this addiction through.
  • “Gina” feels resentment, even contempt, for her husband of 20 years as he ignores, rejects, insults with his silence.  Weight is slowly layering itself on her body as she insulates herself against the pain.
  • “Laura” is searching for expression of her feminine gifts (beauty, passion, mission) in the midst of homeschooling 10 children.  Looking for expansion of her role as Woman outside her role as Mother.
  • “Amanda” is a put together 30-something with 2 children and joints that are falling apart.  Arthritis forming.  Trying to detach from her mother that she recently discovered has a toxic influence on her.  Is on a journey of physical/emotional healing and self-exploration.

I saw myself -at various stages of my life – in every one of them.  After those 11 hours, I taught a 3 hour workshop, then stayed up talking to my friend Jen (whom I’d brought with me from Utah to sing and share) until 2 am.  Jen, I might mention, has alcoholic parents, a sister who is homosexual, a sister who is a drug addict and a brother on death row.

How INSPIRED I am by all of the women who live with pain, disease, trauma, rejection…and wholeheartedly desire to create a higher state of being and becoming in the midst of it.  Every woman of Truth holds immense pain in parts of her body.  But IN that Truth, she opens her soul to incredible Sources of strength and resiliency.  She stares adversity down and keeps hope alive in her heart.  Our points of pain are our points of power.  Breakdowns can be deep and meaningful spiritual awakenings.

It was back-to-back, non-stop looking into the eyes of beautiful, struggling souls for 19 hours straight.  I have never had a day like yesterday.  I was immersed – suspended – in a total state of love and awe and inspiration and Truth.  There was no room for fatigue, though I expected it to hit any moment.  I was fueled and fed on so many levels.

And then on the plane this morning, feeling exhausted, worn out in a good way, and still marveling at my yesterday…  I get wedged between 2 huge college football players.   I’m feeling protective and intimidated and who knows what, but then a little voice inside me says, “Your weekend ministry’s not finished.”  There are no accidents in where we are placed – and with whom – when we resolve to be one of His disciples.

I listened to one of these guys talk about his grandmother who’d died 3 days previous, saw the pain in his eyes, and discerned God was far from his heart.  His friend to my right, likewise.  I think if I hadn’t had such a beatuiful yesterday – a rare Earth day that was consumed in Light and Truth – I wouldn’t have been as energized to release the fear and go to the “love” with such intimidating-looking creatures.  All I could see were wounded little boys in big ol’ bumbling bodies.

I am today – nothing short of exhausted.  Glad to be back home, back to a sweet husband who kept the house clean and children whom I believe were watched over by an extra team of angels so I could be about my Father’s business.  I think what I hold in my heart tonight is relief that I am not alone in my pain and my grief and my inadequacy and my regrets. Every person walking this lonely planet holds all of the above.

And the relief is not just about my not being the only one who feels those burdens…my relief is that I do not have to carry them.  I hope that I was able to communicate to each of those women, and in some small way to those two young men, that there is One who waits to take their burdens on Himself.  Showing up to communicate this to them has gracefully reaffirmed it to my own soul…

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.   For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

-Matt 11:28-30

Never Enough

The following is some recent correspondence between myself and a high school friend.  I share it because the “I’m not doing enough”/ “I can’t get on top of everything that needs to be done” frustration she expresses seems to be a predominant issue among many women I have heart-to-hearts with.

Dear Cherie,

I am interested in your book. I know I will love it. There are many times I feel depressed. Not seriously like I need medication, but just feeling like I just can’t get anything done no matter how hard I try and I also feel like I am not reaching my full potential and that I should be doing much more than I am. I know I shouldn’t but I get jealous of many women including you that do so much in your life. I basically stay at home trying to get chores done, but my house never seems clean, and taking care of my family and my church calling which I know is important, but I just feel I should and could be doing so much more with my life. Anyways, didn’t mean to sulk and complain. It’s just been bugging me lately recently during 40 and wondering what I have been doing with my life.

Love,

“Jane”

My first thought upon reading this was, “Man, if she could only see the state of my kitchen right now….”

Dear Jane,

I hear ya…I really do. Please don’t think that I don’t struggle with the same things you do. I am living my passion, but I frequently feel that most of my highest priorities remain “unfinished.”  We can never DO enough, and I think that’s where BEING comes in. I am trying to learn how to master living in Grace — aligning myself with His mind and will for me, so that the Savior and I are completely on the same team. When I do have those seasons of being in alignment with Him, I don’t feel incomplete and frustrated over what’s not being “done.”  I just move through each moment in His light and feeling peace. Sometimes the dishes don’t get done, and sometimes my projects get put on hold, but that’s what I think He was trying to teach Martha. Dropping everything to learn at His feet (particularly what He speaks to our minds in our moments) is what separated Mary from Martha. When we are clear with hearing His voice and walking in His light, He leads us to the baby steps of creating and refining our life missions. I have always loved your spirit. I know that the Lord needs you and your light, and that He will help you understand why you are feeling this restlessness. No doubt it’s because there is something in store for you, or something He is trying to teach you and lead you to! Much love,

Cherie

This pervasive RESTLESSNESS to DO more…what is it, really?

Often I am asked, and have asked myself over the years – “How do I find my “mission”?  What was I born to DO?  A more fitting question might be, “What was I born to BE?”

It is in the BEING, not the DOING, that we discover who we are and what gifts we have to offer Humanity.

Many mothers want to put the cart before the horse and launch full guns blazing ahead to follow their heart’s desires BEFORE they have learned to love being in their own skin.  Before they learn their life is full and complete, that they are whole and loved…regardless of whether or not their “mission” – their “doings” – ever go forward.

Every woman’s mission is essentially the same.  To love.  First God, then Herself, then Others.

Master, which is the great commandment in the law?  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matthew 22:36-39)  The Pharisees and Saduccees were so bent on what laws and commandments they should be keeping that they wanted to know which doings they weren’t doing enough of.   But Jesus’ answer wasn’t about doing at all.

Christ said Love was the GREATEST commandment.  The one on which we hang all the laws.

mary and martha

The end-all, BE-all.

Here’s to Husbands

My husband Jeff has been doing job training 6 states away the last couple weeks.  I’ve been hit, just today actually, with the sharp realization of how important the masculine/feminine balance is in the home.

My kids miss their dad like crazy.  As hard as I try, I cannot muster up the same kick-back (yet robust) energy that my husband has.  How is it that the more I try to be hearty and cool the more my children think an alien has infiltrated their mother’s life form?

I have a lump in my throat at the prospect of him not coming back.  I know he will, but there’s that anxiety-ridden little “what if” nagging at the back of my mind.  What if he dies in a plane crash?  What if he has a brain aneurysm?

I am the queen of what ifs.  Jeff always laughs at me when I ask completely ridiculous hypothetical questions like, “If I gained 100 pounds, would you still be attracted to me?” or “If I had a stroke and became a vegetable, would you keep a vigil by my bedside?”

How many morbid scenarios can I paint before I internalize this man’s unconditional love?  It’s times like these, in his absence, that I realize I’ve taken for granted how blessed I am.  I have a husband who supports my dedication to stay-at-home motherhood while simultaneously booting me out the door to forward my life mission.  I’ve taken for granted the fact that he “sees” me.  I’ve taken for granted his very presence.

I was looking for something on my computer today and ran across this silly picture of us. He took it on a random Saturday morning last year while we were out walking.  It’s completely geeky, but compounded the lump in my throat.

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I’m not even sure if he knows how much I miss him, because every time he calls I am in the middle of settling fights between children, cleaning up dog puke, knee-deep in projects, trying to decide what to make for dinner, making dinner, pulling through the driveway at Wendy’s to pretend to make dinner, running kids to sports and music, reminding kids to practice sports and music…and a myriad of other second-priority-to-wifehood duties.

I just taught Divine Order at a conference on Saturday:  God, Self, Family, Humanity, Earth.  If a woman is married, her husband is her highest family priority.  Why is it so easy to blaze right past the masculine creature?

I have some ideas on that, but I’ll expound later.  That lump in my throat is not just about anxiety at the prospect of not having my husband come back.  It is a boat-load of unexpressed words that need to take form.

I have a phone call to make

BE

On New Years Day, which also happens to be my “Birthday Eve” I love to set goals.    My old way of setting goals was writing down everything I wanted to accomplish and all the steps to making it happen.  I thought this was an effective way of putting things in motion and setting forth change.

It usually wasn’t.  At least not for more than a month.

When I found out about the concept of Dream Boards (displaying visuals of your goals/wants in a place you can see everyday), I was all over it.  I absolutely believe that if you can see it, you can create it.

Many spiritual teachers claim the Universe is there, waiting to bring us what we want as long as we focus on it.  This is like claiming God is our servant, rather than the other way around.  Many followers of God buy into the dangerous practice of creating posters of dream homes and cars and vacations and bodies that they somehow deserve because they are focused and positive.  They attend seminars on how to “think rich” and pour over books written by those who have gotten or created everything they’ve dreamed about.   It can be fun to dream of those things, and it’s motivating to have something to work towards.  But what should our motivation really be, if not a beautiful home, a beautiful body and beautiful things?

The scriptures say the LOVE OF GOD should be our motivation for everything we do.  This life is an exercise in sacrifice and surrender; a continual process of putting our wants second.  God loves us and wants to bring us all the desires of our hearts, but He is a God of order and His Universe flows with unchanging, eternal laws.  We are not entitled to blessings simply because we are loved by God.  We are entitled to blessings because of our humility and obedience to Him.

So, on New Years Day 2010, I decided that instead of a Dream Board, I would create a “BE” Board.  A visual display of the innermost desires of my heart…what I want to BECOME…not HAVE.  This is what I created and it now hangs in my bedroom:

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I found a 16″X 20″ frame on sale, got some sheet metal at Home Depot, had my husband cut the sheet metal to fit the frame with metal snips, bought some fabric I loved, fit it over the sheet metal, hot glued the edges of the fabric to the sheet metal, and put it in the frame.  I’ve always loved scrapbooking and paper piecing, so it was fun to plow through my scraps and letters and tags and stickers and doo-dads.  I printed the images of my “dreams” from Google Images.  I stole the cute flower magnets from my fridge.    After my big New Years creative spurt — Voila…my Be Board.

As an explanation:

The Hannah’s Promise poster is remind me of my waiting son whom I have every confidence will come to me in my “old age”…just like Samuel came to Hannah in hers.  (My waiting daughter, too, but there was no poster of that).  Read my post on The Two Who Are Missing for the full scoop.  Oh, and Hannah’s poster is also to remind me that my true heroes are Women of Profound Faith.

The Ireland pic is to remind me of the ancestors I have from that land that I feel reaching out to me, supporting me in my issues and calling to me to help clear theirs.  We are spiritually and emotionally linked, even though I have no earthly record of them.  I would love to travel to my “homeland” and do some genealogical research (me maiden name is LYNCH…which half the blymied country’s last name ees, so t’weel bee a wee bit challengin’!).  That actual picture feels like home to me; like somewhere I’ve been before.

The Healthy Woman thing is about radiating a glow of health, not a perfect body.  In times past, I would have posted my goal weight or perfect wanna-be size so that I could see that “number” as a reminder.  This display felt much better with my spirit.  I’d rather be energetic and refined than depleted and skinny.

One of these is hard to see, but it’s Trip with Savannah.  I promised my daughter when she was about 9 (at the height of our belting-out-Broadway-tunes-in-the-car phase) that when she turned 12, I would take her to New York City – just the two of us – and we’d go to Broadway musical after Broadway musical after Broadway musical.  She turns 12 this year.  I am not sure how I am going to create it (those years came at me fast), but I will.  More than sitting in an audience watching the stage light up….I look forward to sitting next to my precious daughter and watching her eyes do so.

Women/Blog.  Kind of self-explanatory…  I knew I wanted to create a blog that would reach the hearts of women this year.  At the time I created this Be Board, I didn’t have any idea how to do it.  But about a month later, this generous and talented young man named Ofir Ramirez, whom the Lord placed across the street from us, offered to get my blog designed and out there pro-bono.  Notice that underneath the words Women and Blog there is a book.  That is ultimately what I would like to finish this year…that book I have been working on forever (sigh)…

My little sign that says Love All… well, it’s one of the phrases that keeps coming to me.  I know that without the pure love of Christ (or charity), I am absolutely nothing.  So even if I become healthy and wealthy and wise and bless the lives of all kinds of people the world over, if I am not a source of love and acceptance, it’s all in vain.

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, andunderstand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing….And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”  (1 Cor. 13:1-3, 13)

This, I believe, is probably one of the most important scriptures there is.  Charity is even higher than faith 🙂  So, if I’m gonna create a BE Board, I have to include Love.  What am I, if I can’t Be love?  I have far to go in this department, but the deepest desire of my heart is to be a master at Pure Love.

Surrender…sweet surrender.  My buzzword the last couple of years.  It’s probably the concept I feel called to teach about most.  Relinquishing our will for His, letting go of what is wanted for what is best, soul recognition of our powerlessness, stillness in moments.  INTERESTINGLY, God allowed a barrage of life experiences…within TWO WEEKS of my creating this Be Board to help me understand and realize this spiritual concept more fully.   Read about that here.  Now, when I look at that word “Surrender” on my board, I am filled with gratitude for the perfect way He teaches.

And of course, the painting of the woman and Jesus, in a warm and friendly, relaxed exchange. At One.  This is my ultimate mortal goal.  I wish to Be One with my Savior.  THE way I master Pure Love is to become one with the Source who is.  I am learning all I can on this, and it is breathtaking.  Can’t wait to share.

Topics That Sing to Me

Here are some topics I’ll be writing about, within the order of the Sacred Stations, that sing to me… and beg to be explored:

  • Walking the highest path – the path of sanctification.
  • Understanding the implications of Divine Femininity and the fullness of womanhood.
  • Glorious motherhood.
  • Making the Earth experience joyous and glorious, as it was intended.
  • Receiving what is wanted (the desires of our hearts).
  • Claiming authentic power through becoming One with Christ.
  • Calling forth our beauty, gifts, and personal mission.
  • Reclaiming the lost feminine arts.
  • Acquiring Godly (vs. Worldly) Confidence.
  • Healing depression.
  • Learning how to love without limits.
  • Learning from the Ancient Ones and the Noble and Great Females.
  • Becoming His beloved and chosen.
  • Creating the life we were born to live – the life of our dreams – in a partnership with the Creator.
  • Operating and “being” from our “celestial center.”
  • Understanding and honoring Divine Order.
  • Creating balance as a woman.
  • Using soft power to nurture, influence and heal.
  • Incorporating daily Sacred Routines for peace and centeredness.
  • Giving ourselves spiritual permission to SHINE.

flower

Stand

The word Station comes from the Latin word that means “to stand.”  Therefore, my basic, overall meaning of Sacred Stations is to stand in holy places.

stand

Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? (Psalms 24: 3)

When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand)…  (Matthew 24: 15)

How do you stand in holy places…and BE NOT MOVED when your environment is anything BUT Sacred?

A holy place is not always a location.  It’s about YOU…  It’s a state of being.

viktor frankl“… In spite of all the enforced physical and mental primitiveness of the life in a concentration camp, it was possible for spiritual life to deepen…In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way — an honorable way — in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.”  (Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”)

Holy place: (where Light and the Spirit can safely dwell in abundance) = You

The point is to diligently avoid putting yourself into situations where it would be difficult to feel the Spirit.  Choose places where Light abounds, but if you have no choice… ask God to shield you so that you can  BE THE BEACON that brings the Light in!!!

light_of_god_by_taubenfeld

Things are going to get hard.  Things are happening with our economy…there are wars/rumors of wars and secret combinations within governments and disease and abuse and pornography and…need I go on?  All kinds of horrible, evil crap.  We don’t know when the cup of wrath of the Lord’s indignation will be full; when He will say, “Enough,” and bring about the final reaping of the Earth.

I used to be in a place of “gloom and doom” with respect to all the changes in our world but I choose not to go there anymore.

I’ve realized that it really doesn’t matter, as long as I choose to stand for – and with – Christ.  We may not always be able to avoid walking into darkness, but we can choose to hold His Light.  And if I’m holding that, I am NOT going to be in a mindset of gloom and doom.