Mom, I Felt Like He Was With Me…

This is an entry from an old blog of mine – a couple of years ago.  It’s about my only girl, now 12.

Sigh–I miss her at this sweet stage:

Wed, April 1, 2009

My ten year old daughter, Savannah, has had difficulty staying in her bed at night. “I just don’t like being alone,” is her best verbal offering, despite the fact she’s been in her own room since age two.  Why the sudden angst with my most independent child?

At least 20 mornings last month I was waking to find her either cuddled (more like smashed) between me and the nightstand...OR crammed in with little bro in his twin bed. Seven-year-old Sunshine Sawyer was much more of a sport about it than Daddy and I.

Two weeks ago, plagued by kinked neck #10, I decided it was Intervention Time. A sleeping-all-by-herself chart was created -incentives attached- and she seemed determined.  After an earnest bedtime prayer and my best “YOU choose to cast out your own fears” motivational speech, I sat on the edge of her bed, held her hand, and looked deeply into her royal blue eyes.

“You can do this,” I assured her. “You are so much stronger than you think, sweetie.” A look of sudden knowing passed over her countenance and she simply said to me, “‘Night, Mommy.”

So…I walk away…and I’m thinking to myself…as I strut down the hall, ” Hey,” (side click of the mouth; one eyebrow raised; head cocked to the side), “I reeeally got through to my kid.” Yeah! I’m big. I’m bad. I’m…absolutely clueless.

I was giving her assurances of her own strength, but she knew where it originated. I sauntered into her room at midnight, and with a lump in my throat, beheld the following scene:

savannah sleeping

My mother gave this picture to Savannah at her baptism and it’s always seemed to hold personal significance to her. “Buzzy Boo” (the fave stuffed tiger and longtime security clutch) is the staple standby…but it took a little bit of concentrated effort to walk all the way across her room that night to get this picture of Jesus off her dresser.

So she could hold on to Him.

I praised her the next morning for knowing in Whom she has trusted, and thanked her for teaching me about courage. Beaming, she says to me, “Mom, I felt like He was with me last night.”

Sleeping by herself hasn’t been much of a problem since. We both know she’s not reeeeallysleeping alone after all.

Post-script: (fast forward 2 1/2 yrs; smack-dab in the throes of tweenhood)

The freckles are fading…Buzzy Boo is history…she sleeps in the dark basement without fear…but she is still trying to explore that divine independence.  Sometimes I wish she would plow into my room in the middle of the night again and cuddle me so close that I’d be crushed against my nightstand and get a good ol’ righteous kinked neck.

Kind of.

I hafta laugh when I see these kinds of expressive creations on her Facebook:

savannah and friends

Savannah – the girl on the right with the flower on her head and the fire of “let me be me” in her heart

I’m just relieved that even though Buzzy Boo and the pink gingham sheets have been shelved, that picture of her Savior still graces her nightstand.

Join me on this journey :-)

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This is going to be the year of healing my food issues.  I feel it – I know it.  It’s gonna happen.

Yesterday Jeff and I took our son Noah to a chiropractic neurologist in Idaho.  That dr. is convinced that most of Noah’s sensory integration issues stem from an autoimmune disorder…largely exacerbated by his diet.  He spent a great deal of time explaining to us the physiological implications of gluten/dairy/soy on his compromised “gut blood barrier.”  Lots of scientific terms, but the bottom line was that his system is way sensitive to these foods and that taking them out of his diet could initiate a major turnaround in his condition.  I remember researching gluten-free diets and how impactful they are behaviorally on children with Autism and developmental/sensory  issues.  We did it with Noah for awhile and caved.

Our “caving” has initiated a downturn in his condition.  Which has kinda got me thinking about how I have “caved” in the nutrition department… initiating a downturn in my own well-being.

The drive to eat foods that aren’t for our highest good is HUGE in most all of us. We often crave both what we need and what could eventually kill us.  If we listen to our body’s built-in feedback system, we’re good.  We eat what’s right for us and thrive because we have trained ourselves to listen to how certain foods sit with us afterwards.  But when we turn off that switch – and numb our feedback system, the body suffers.  On so many levels.

Including spiritually….because excessive weight is most definitely a spiritual burden.

What we put in our mouths has a major impact on how we feel.  How can we expect to accomplish our life missions with power and clarity when we don’t feel good?  C’est impossible.

We all want to feel good, and we know eating “right” will assist with that in a major way…so why don’t we just DO it?

The prompting I had to begin the 12 Week “Spiritual Eating” Challenge has been pretty overwhelming.  I wanted to create something with LASTING results.  Not some quick fix diet plan or “rah-rah” motivational regime.  I wanted it to be spiritually based, as that is the only way to achieve deep and complete healing.  I have designed it as a completely online program — that you can read and listen to and work into your own schedule.

It is NOT a diet…although I will offer sensible eating guidelines and a structured nutrition plan that will produce noticeable weight loss.  Weight loss is not the ultimate goal on this plan.  The ultimate goal is to “cure” your unhealthy attachment to foods that harm you.  We’re talking freedom from emotional eating forever.

Consider joining me.  The first group starts Jan 17, but after that first week, you can hop on anytime.  Meaning, I am keeping this program going on this site so that any Monday after Jan 17 you feel ready to start, you can begin the 12 week journey.  I feel this is such a huge issue for almost all women, and needs to be an ongoing thing on this site.

So, if you join me, what you can expect is:

  • Permanent weight loss (physical and emotional)
  • Freedom from food obsession
  • Receiving the confidence to claim healing on all levels from your food issues
  • A solid lifestyle shift into radiant health
  • Loving yourself into changing your body (not forcing or coercing yourself through guilt and shame)
  • Nourishing yourself on ALL levels – emotionally, physically, spiritually as a new HABIT

Take this intensive – yet gentle – challenge and join me.  You can sign up right on this site.  What are you waiting for?  Delaying change out of fear will only keep adding layers of protection to your body.  I have found that the only way out is THROUGH.  Make this your year of healing your food issues…right along with me, cuz THAT is where I am headed!

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