The following is some recent correspondence between myself and a high school friend. I share it because the “I’m not doing enough”/ “I can’t get on top of everything that needs to be done” frustration she expresses seems to be a predominant issue among many women I have heart-to-hearts with.
I am interested in your book. I know I will love it. There are many times I feel depressed. Not seriously like I need medication, but just feeling like I just can’t get anything done no matter how hard I try and I also feel like I am not reaching my full potential and that I should be doing much more than I am. I know I shouldn’t but I get jealous of many women including you that do so much in your life. I basically stay at home trying to get chores done, but my house never seems clean, and taking care of my family and my church calling which I know is important, but I just feel I should and could be doing so much more with my life. Anyways, didn’t mean to sulk and complain. It’s just been bugging me lately recently during 40 and wondering what I have been doing with my life.
My first thought upon reading this was, “Man, if she could only see the state of my kitchen right now….”
I hear ya…I really do. Please don’t think that I don’t struggle with the same things you do. I am living my passion, but I frequently feel that most of my highest priorities remain “unfinished.” We can never DO enough, and I think that’s where BEING comes in. I am trying to learn how to master living in Grace — aligning myself with His mind and will for me, so that the Savior and I are completely on the same team. When I do have those seasons of being in alignment with Him, I don’t feel incomplete and frustrated over what’s not being “done.” I just move through each moment in His light and feeling peace. Sometimes the dishes don’t get done, and sometimes my projects get put on hold, but that’s what I think He was trying to teach Martha. Dropping everything to learn at His feet (particularly what He speaks to our minds in our moments) is what separated Mary from Martha. When we are clear with hearing His voice and walking in His light, He leads us to the baby steps of creating and refining our life missions. I have always loved your spirit. I know that the Lord needs you and your light, and that He will help you understand why you are feeling this restlessness. No doubt it’s because there is something in store for you, or something He is trying to teach you and lead you to! Much love,
This pervasive RESTLESSNESS to DO more…what is it, really?
Often I am asked, and have asked myself over the years – “How do I find my “mission”? What was I born to DO? A more fitting question might be, “What was I born to BE?”
It is in the BEING, not the DOING, that we discover who we are and what gifts we have to offer Humanity.
Many mothers want to put the cart before the horse and launch full guns blazing ahead to follow their heart’s desires BEFORE they have learned to love being in their own skin. Before they learn their life is full and complete, that they are whole and loved…regardless of whether or not their “mission” – their “doings” – ever go forward.
Every woman’s mission is essentially the same. To love. First God, then Herself, then Others.
Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matthew 22:36-39) The Pharisees and Saduccees were so bent on what laws and commandments they should be keeping that they wanted to know which doings they weren’t doing enough of. But Jesus’ answer wasn’t about doing at all.
Christ said Love was the GREATEST commandment. The one on which we hang all the laws.
The end-all, BE-all.